1.知道你性子急，但也不能張嘴就拉啊，你拿什么定義我，臭嘴嗎？

2.見過馬桶在廁所里，沒見過馬桶在嘴里，別跟我說話，我有潔癖。

3. 物以類聚，人狗殊途；垃圾分類，你屬于哪一類？

4.你看起來好眼熟，像我昨天扔掉的那袋垃圾，你快躲起來，收垃圾的來了。

5.你們家都是你做飯吧，我看你挺會添油加醋的，你把油放鍋里，看看是油濺還是你賤。

6.現在手機都這么智能的嗎，豬都可以拱字了，我用9鍵，你用26鍵，你比我“鍵”多了。

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7.我見過裹小腳的，沒見過裹小腦的，今天算是開眼了。

8.驢一天啥事不干，凈踢你腦袋了，不要仗著自己腦袋有問題，就為所欲為。

9.別到處咬人了，生怕別人不知道你是什么品種嗎？

10.我小時候被狗咬過，你別亂叫，我怕我陰影復發，都怪我太年輕，是人是狗分不清。

11.嘴閑就去舔馬桶，少在這叭叭叭，你要實在沒啥事干，跟我家狗換換班。

12.你嘴是滾筒洗衣機嗎？怎么攪出來的全是臟東西，這么有時間議論人，怎么不好好洗洗自己的嘴。

13.你這么沒素質，學歷是胎教吧？阿姨可真幽默，生了你這么個笑話。

14.小時候媽媽告訴我，做人一定要善良，長大后才發現，不是所有人都有媽媽。

15.看不慣我，是你的問題，不想看可以把眼睛戳瞎，忍不住就把嘴巴縫上。

16.你真是眉毛下面掛兩蛋，光會眨眼不會看，如果你不瞎，就別用耳朵去了解我。

17.癩蛤蟆沾點水，真以為自己是海王了，看不清自己？家里沒鏡子總有尿吧。

18.直到認識了你，我才明白人性的丑陋面可以這么具體，別以為你長得丑，我就不敢罵你了，你要是聽不清，我還能刻你碑上。

19.你長得跟二維碼似的，不掃一下，都不知道你是什么東西。

20.我原本是有兩顆心的，一顆善心，一顆惡心，見到你之后只有善心了，因為惡心死了。