兩個人在一起,難免會吵架。
但凡吵架,必定會情緒上頭。而情緒就像一面鏡子,能照出一個人最真實的樣子。
所以,要想知道一個人愛不愛你,就細心留意他生氣時、憤怒時對你的態(tài)度,是自顧自地發(fā)泄情緒,還是盡可能地克制情緒?
平時甜言蜜語誰都會說,但真正考驗感情的,是吵架時的態(tài)度。
你有沒有見過這樣的關系?
平時恩愛甜蜜,一吵架就互相攻擊、翻舊賬;
明明只是小事,卻非要爭個輸贏,最后鬧到冷戰(zhàn)好幾天;
吵完誰也不肯低頭,感情在一次次的爭執(zhí)中慢慢消磨。
但也有些情侶,很少吵架,即使偶爾爭執(zhí),也不會傷感情,甚至越吵越親密。
區(qū)別在哪里?
就在——吵架時,TA是想贏,還是更在乎你。
今天我們就來聊聊:為什么說,吵架最能看清一個人愛不愛你?
1. 吵架見人品,更見真心
人在情緒失控時,最容易暴露本性:
愛指責的人,一吵架就翻舊賬、人身攻擊:"你每次都這樣!"
自私的人,只顧自己發(fā)泄,完全不顧你的感受;
冷暴力的人,直接消失,留你一個人胡思亂想。
而真正愛你的人,即使再生氣:
不說傷人的話,即使再憤怒也不攻擊你的軟肋;
不摔門就走,寧愿吵明白,也不讓你獨自消化情緒;
不遷怒他人,比如拿你的家人朋友撒氣。
能控制情緒的人,才值得托付真心。
2. 真正愛你的人,不會讓你帶著情緒過夜
好的感情不是不吵架,而是吵完還能擁抱。
最傷感情的從來不是吵架本身,而是:
你氣得睡不著,TA卻睡得心安理得;
你主動給臺階,TA還端著架子不接;
明明一個擁抱就能解決的事,非要冷戰(zhàn)好幾天。
真正在乎你的人:
會先低頭。不是認輸,而是不想讓你難過;
會給臺階。比如問一句“餓不餓”,讓氣氛緩和;
會解決問題。而不是吵完就當沒事,下次繼續(xù)犯同樣的錯。
感情里最動人的不是“我愛你”,而是“我錯了”。
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3. 吵架后的態(tài)度,決定感情能走多遠
為什么有些情侶能吵一輩子還恩愛?因為他們懂得:
不記仇,吵完就翻篇,不會秋后算賬;
會反思,同樣的錯誤不犯第二次;
敢示弱,愿意表達真實感受,比如“我剛才其實很怕你走”。
而那些注定走散的情侶:
總想贏,非要爭對錯,結果贏了道理,輸了感情;
愛冷戰(zhàn),用沉默懲罰對方,其實折磨的是自己;
不改變,每次吵架都是同樣的劇本,毫無成長。
能走多遠,不看你們多甜蜜,而看你們多會化解矛盾。
吵架不可怕,可怕的是不會吵
沒有不吵架的情侶,只有不會經(jīng)營的感情。
如果你想知道TA愛不愛你:
看TA生氣時是否依然尊重你;
看TA吵完后是否愿意主動緩和;
看TA是否愿意為你們的關系做出改變。
愿你足夠幸運,遇到的那個人——
吵不散,罵不走,
愿意低頭,更愿意為你成長。
在生活的瑣碎里,依然堅定地選擇和你一起走下去。
互動話題:
你們吵架后,通常是誰先低頭?
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