文/飛魚

婚姻靠的是什么呢？最基本的就是忠誠。

夫妻兩個人生活在一起，就是一個相互合作的過程，想要長久生活下去，那么肯定是對婚姻忠誠，對家庭忠誠，對伴侶忠誠。

一旦失去了忠誠，那么婚姻就就像是被狠狠地沖擊，把夫妻關(guān)系也推向了想懸崖，注定是破碎不堪的。

我們在婚姻中，需要清醒一點，即使再愛一個人，也要先愛自己，懂得為自己留心眼，不要高估自己與枕邊人的關(guān)系。

婚后，男人的三個反常行為，說明他已經(jīng)背叛你了，超準。

一、突然對你好說話，才發(fā)現(xiàn)是在外面有人了。

男人其實想要欺騙你，那么你是很難發(fā)現(xiàn)他在外面做了什么對不起你的事情。

如果一個男人經(jīng)常是對你冷淡，但突然他就開始對你好了，開始問你想到什么，都給你買，或是直接轉(zhuǎn)錢給你，說話的語氣也變好了，那是因為他犯錯之后的愧疚感。

但這種愧疚感不會很久，時間長了，他就會變回以前對你的態(tài)度了。

那是因為他覺得自己用錢和物質(zhì)打發(fā)你了，彌補了心中的愧疚感，就可以繼續(xù)犯錯了。

男人突然對你有這種異常行為，那么你就要留心眼，觀察他是不是真的背叛你了，是不是外面真的有人了，做了對不起你的事情，就想要用錢財來填充他的愧疚感，卻不是真的想要回頭改正。

出軌有一次，就會有無數(shù)次，你沒有發(fā)現(xiàn)，他就會繼續(xù)犯錯，甚至覺得利理所當然。

所以，不必高估人性，更不必高估自己在枕邊人心中的位置，一旦翻臉，他必然是以利益為先。

二、經(jīng)常為別人花錢。

正如《親愛的仇敵》中的陳凱西發(fā)現(xiàn)丈夫經(jīng)常在網(wǎng)絡(luò)上打賞一些長得好看的女人，經(jīng)常給別人聊得好曖昧。

那么他這種反常的舉動，其實就是背叛你的。

即使他還沒有出現(xiàn)跟別人發(fā)生實際關(guān)系，但是他早已經(jīng)有了背叛你的想法，已經(jīng)不再對你忠誠了。

所以，你也要留心眼。

男人的愛，說不愛就不愛的。愛你的時候，或許很動人，不愛你的時候，也會很絕情。

當他的心思不在你身上，不在家庭中了，那么就會對家庭不負責任，或許會經(jīng)常不回家，對你也是不聞不問，那么這樣的婚姻狀態(tài)，你也不要奢望對方能夠回頭，反而你要做的就是不要委屈自己。

三、各種挑戰(zhàn)你的底線。

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如果男人總是做一些讓你生氣的事情，甚至是明目張膽在你面前犯錯，說明他已經(jīng)不在乎你了，無論你如何要求他，他都不會聽你的，更對你沒耐心。

正如《親愛的仇敵》中的陳勉跟別的女人都已經(jīng)有了孩子，居然還住在原配的隔壁小區(qū)，妻子和孩子出出入入都可能會看到，妻子陳凱西確實無意間就看到了丈夫跟一個懷孕的女人出入隔壁小區(qū)，才知道是遭遇了背叛。

然而，沒有想到的是，婆家的人居然也知道了這件事，還支持，鼓勵生出來，甚至還把紅色小鞋子寄來到了陳凱西住的這里，讓陳凱西看到之后，徹底翻臉了。

陳勉知道了事情暴露之后，卻還是一副自己沒有錯的樣子，面對她的質(zhì)問，自己倒是無所謂的樣子，讓人寒心。

最終陳凱西留了心眼，收集好了所有證據(jù)，為自己的離婚拿下了籌碼，不讓自己吃虧。

所以，婚后發(fā)現(xiàn)男人背叛了你，那么你也要理智面對，不要卑微討好，采取行動來處理和解決這些問題，才能掌控主動權(quán)，守護好自己的婚姻和利益。