客廳墻角的那座老式座鐘,停在凌晨三點(diǎn)十五分。鐘擺一動(dòng)不動(dòng),玻璃罩上落了層薄薄的灰塵,指針像是被凍住了,再也不會(huì)隨著時(shí)間的流逝而轉(zhuǎn)動(dòng)。這是母親最喜歡的座鐘,從她嫁過(guò)來(lái)那天起,就一直擺在那里,滴答滴答地走了四十年。
母親總說(shuō),這座鐘是外公送她的嫁妝,德國(guó)進(jìn)口的,走時(shí)準(zhǔn)得很。每天早上六點(diǎn),它會(huì)準(zhǔn)時(shí)敲響,聲音洪亮,能把整個(gè)院子里的人都叫醒。母親會(huì)在鐘聲里起床,生火做飯,打掃院子,開(kāi)始一天的忙碌。晚上十點(diǎn),鐘聲再次響起,母親會(huì)借著燈光,縫補(bǔ)我們兄妹的衣服,直到鐘擺的滴答聲伴我們進(jìn)入夢(mèng)鄉(xiāng)。
小時(shí)候,我總愛(ài)趴在玻璃罩上看鐘擺晃動(dòng),覺(jué)得那左右搖擺的樣子像是在跳舞。有次趁母親不注意,偷偷把鐘擺撥停了,結(jié)果被母親狠狠地打了手心。“時(shí)間怎么能隨便停呢?” 母親的語(yǔ)氣很?chē)?yán)厲,眼里卻含著淚,“日子就像這鐘擺,得一步一步地走,才能過(guò)出滋味來(lái)。” 從那以后,我再也沒(méi)碰過(guò)座鐘的擺錘。
母親生病后,座鐘像是有了靈性,走時(shí)越來(lái)越慢。有時(shí)候早上六點(diǎn)的鐘聲,會(huì)拖到六點(diǎn)半才響,聲音也變得沉悶,像是在嘆息。我找了修鐘師傅來(lái)看,他說(shuō)零件老化得厲害,修不好了。母親卻不讓扔,說(shuō):“就讓它慢慢走著吧,跟我一樣,走不動(dòng)了也得撐著。”
最后那段日子,母親躺在床上,已經(jīng)分不清白天黑夜。但每當(dāng)座鐘敲響,她的眼睛就會(huì)微微睜開(kāi),像是在傾聽(tīng)時(shí)間的聲音。有次鐘擺突然卡住了,母親急得用微弱的聲音說(shuō):“鐘…… 鐘停了……” 我趕緊去擺弄,鐘擺卻怎么也動(dòng)不了。母親看著停擺的座鐘,眼淚順著眼角流下來(lái),浸濕了枕巾。
母親走的那天,正是座鐘停擺的時(shí)間 —— 凌晨三點(diǎn)十五分。像是冥冥中注定,她要和這座陪伴了她四十年的座鐘,一起停下腳步。處理完母親的后事,我想把座鐘扔掉,父親卻攔住了:“留著吧,看到它,就像看到你媽還在一樣。”
現(xiàn)在,座鐘依舊擺在客廳墻角,停在凌晨三點(diǎn)十五分。父親每天都會(huì)用抹布擦拭玻璃罩,動(dòng)作輕柔,像是在撫摸母親的手。有次我半夜醒來(lái),聽(tīng)見(jiàn)客廳里有動(dòng)靜,走過(guò)去一看,父親正坐在座鐘旁,手里拿著母親的照片,喃喃自語(yǔ):“你看,鐘停了,日子卻還得接著過(guò)……”
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窗外的月光透過(guò)玻璃,照在座鐘上,鍍上了一層清冷的銀輝。我知道,這座停擺的座鐘,再也不會(huì)走動(dòng)了。就像母親,永遠(yuǎn)地離開(kāi)了我們,只留下無(wú)盡的思念,在每個(gè)寂靜的夜晚,隨著鐘擺的影子,悄悄地蔓延。
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